Author Archives: Carmela Baybayan Santos

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I feel gnawed everytime I look back at myself, it gives me an ennui feeling, in reason of I see myself as an normal average teenager’s who only cares about herself and not about things around her.

There’s always a good side in every problem. My life could be presented as a roller coaster cause of my ups and downs moments. My family see me as a sweetly, bubbly and childish woman, what they don’t know is that, I am the exact opposite of it when I’m alone. I always thought to myself that “this is it, this is all I can” I started hurting myself physically and mentally for being dumb and stupid at some things.

I constantly questioning myself “Why are you like this? Can’t you be like the others?” I compare myself to others, however I am also good at other things like playing guitar and ukulele.

“You’re only the one who know the true in you”

This has been my quote for a long time. To find the real me in myself I don’t have to look for it, I just have to discover it. By doing things like practicing, experimenting, ang hanging out with friends. Until now I still can’t swim, however I know that when I constantly do it I will learn it.

Unwinding in the beach helped me realize my worth and capabilities. I never knew I can play ukulele until my cousins taught me. Now I can also guitar by trying out my best learning it by myself.

When I was at the beach, I experienced fishing, cooking, and playing with my young cousins. They welcomed me so dearly and treat me as if I am one of their daughters, it’s just so overwhelming for me to be treated like that. Curse this pandemic for ruining my vacation, we we’re supposed to go there again last December and last summer, however COVID-19 ruined it all! I can’t even enjoy myself here in our province as well. I just wish this pandemic would end this year, it would be a great start for me as a graduating student.

I see my friend as a ray of sun. When I see her I feel enlightened, bloom and bright. She brings me joy with her corny jokes, she comforts me when I am in sadness.

We see ech other as sisters, not by blood but by heart. We take care of each other. We met in elementary, she’s one of my neighbors before, however she and her family moved, though it’s not that far, but it’s quite hard for us to see specially now that we’re in a pandemic.

She sings so well, and dance so great. We love doing tiktoks together. When her boyfriend broke up with her, I was there to console her. It breaks my heart when I see her cry.

She is one of the strongest person I know, she manage to juggle her school and family issues. She deserves blessings and love.

One of our hobbies asides from doing tiktoks is playing badminton, we always hang out before pandemic and enjoys eating snacks after. People usually call us twins, in our younger years. But now that I gained weight they call us “Number 10” where she is the number 1 and I am the number 10 funny right? We laugh about it a lot. I miss being with her, I wish to spend more time with her.

She is the 2nd child in their family, people usually compares her to her older sister. They say “The first one is the best” and “The second one looks so disobedient” but what they don’t know is how she tries herself proving other people that she also can what her sister can. I believe in her. They only know her one sided attitude, but not the other side where she’s sweet, joyful and funny. She is the best friend I ever had, and I will do everything I can to help her in good ways.

He’s one of a kind. He treats me like I’m one of his closest friend, although we haven’t seen each other yet. He’s a gullible and foolish friend of mine, he even tells me his story with his crush.

It hurts to see that he only sees me as a friend, though I see him more than that, on the other hand, I would like to keep it as a secret, however it’s not a secret anymore haha. He’s a good friend, maybe that’s the reason why I like him. He can carry my sadness and makes me forget that I’m sad. He’s one of my classmates. Talking to him is like floating in the air, swarming butterflies in my belly, and nothing can balance my feelings when I talk to him. He’s like a friend and a boyfriend at the same time. He is a boyfriend material, he cares about your feelings and your safety. He’s my friend, and I will do anything that I can to help him. He is there at my worst, so he deserves me at my best. I will keep my feelings for him, because I don’t want to lose him because of it. It’s better this way.

We talk about our past relationships, we laughed at our mistakes and embarrassed moments. His father and I both love plants, so he mostly jokes about giving me some of his plants haha. We joked about going to bibingka house on December, we even planned to go to the mall just to browse there. It’s fun to be able to talk to your crush, and love him secretly.
I’m scared that if I confess my feelings, I might lose him.

Dear friend,

I love you for who you are, talking to you completes my day. I can’t even express my feelings for you. All I can say is that I love you. Also, thank you.

Back in the day of my elem days, my Auntie whom I call “mama” loves to plant variety of plants. I do not know anything about it, however I love playing with her plants, specially the spikey ones. She would shout at me for ruining her plants, but later on she’d give me snacks or meryenda. Those are the days that I will never forget.

This senior high, when the pandemic starts, I became fascinated about plants. To begin my new hobby I started small, I only have 3 pots of adeniums and 4 pots of cactuses. Sadly, my cactuses died, except adeniums that I still have until now. I became more engrossed than I ever expected and now I have 25+ pots! Who would imagine that, me? The young lady who only cares about her social media would fall in love with plants.

Some of my plants, got bought by my neighbors and friends online. I got so many plants that my mom complaints about it, a lot.

It’s good being a plantita, I care about nature and I learned how to care about plants. I may be not an expert in botany, but I am trying my best to be a good plantita.

I’m Carmela B. Santos and I am a certified plantita.

She is a seventeen year old student of Baliwag Polytechnic College.

Carmela is a seventeen year old student from Baliwag Polytechnic College. She is now a graduating student in academic track, HUMSS strand and currently preparing for a new journey to college.

Music is life for me! I learned how to play an instrument when I was in junior high, some of my classmates teased me before that I can’t do it, however look where I am now! Who would guess that a young woman like me, is now doing covers on fb and plays at church. I have had a lot of struggles before I achieved this goal. I hurt my fingers before it even bleed! My mom looked so worried and I can tell that she wants me to stop practicing before. I pursued this line and now, I’m earning it by doing covers online, though I still am not a pro in guitar I at least kearned a few. Dreams do come true!

That’s what I said 3 years ago.

Life can be challenging and gives you hard time in pursuing.

Before enrolling in senior high she wanted to be an Atty. to defend people from misleading informations.

“I wanted to fix Filipinos way of thinking about laws. I wanted to be seen not just a Lawyer but also as an inspiration to others, that YOU CAN what YOU WANT with courage and strength from God”

—Carmela B. Santos

But when the pandemic strikes it hit me right in my mind that I can’t be a Lawyer, because of my family’s financial struggling. Soon after one of my nieces called and ask for my help as her tutor in one of her subject, she’s a grade 7 student in Notre Christian Academy Philippines, she hated the subject and calls it “panira ng card” because she can’t understand it well.

At first I was hesitant, because I couldn’t even teach myself! But I took the risk and tried my best to teach her. After a month of tutoring at my niece she passed the subject and thanked me! There I realize that I can change students way of thinking about learning.

So now, I am aiming for my dream to become a Teacher.there is no late in achieving if God allows it, it will happen.

There is no late in achieving if God allows it, it will happen. PUHON! PADAYON!